Number .04 - Fuckin' Perfect Britt

Self evaluation time:
As previously stated in my last post, I'm not fuckin' perfect!
I believe in balance; and perfection simply doesn't allow a person to be any other way but perfect.

I am flawed. I have issues just like everyone else in this world (not to say my issues are the same or comparable, just simply that we all have issues).  Considering how important balance is to me, I forced myself to write down my flaws, look them in the face and take time to reflect on them and ideally improve the balance in my life.

For a person who always thinks her opinion matters and is, 9 times out of 10, correct above all else; it wasn't a fun process writing down my flaws. In fact, I'm still hesitating posting this to the world. Like, Why the hell am I doing this?!  I guess part of me feels like if I just get it out, then I can start working on it. If I get it out, then it's no secret and I don't have to hide part of who I am... to anyone.

I'm ridiculously organized, so I categorized my flaws. Lol


Sometimes Good and Sometimes Bad:
1) My natural volume is set on 8 most days. I'm a naturally loud person and I like being heard. I can't stand when people talk over me or cut me off in a sentence.
2) Being loud gets recognition... I'm constantly the center of attention because everyone can hear me. I know I shouldn't always be the center of attention, but I also don't mind it.
3) I am opinionated. I have improved with this, but no joke, it's hard not to speak my mind!
4) I'm independent and most the time have to fail before I ask for help. Some people call this 'stubborn' but I like knowing that I at least tried to do something before asking someone else to do it for me.
5) I have very high expectations for the people I surround myself with.
6) I think I'm a very logical and straight-forward type of thinker (always thinking of efficiency and productivity) and because of this, I'm always right. Because who doesn't want to do things the fast and most efficient way?
7) I take short cuts and procrastinate. This was harder in school than it is now, but I certainly know that some of my best work has been late at night before the assignment was due.
8)  I don't commit to anything unless I'm in love with it. I have to have an emotional connection to commit to doing anything. It means I'm passionate, but it also leaves out a lot that maybe I'll never do.
9) My vocabulary is simple. I don't know a lot of big words, but I can also talk to a crowd of people and know for a fact everyone understands what I'm saying.
10) I'm a natural leader. I will most definitely step up to the plate and take lead if no one else will. Most cases though, this leads to more responsibility for myself and more stress.
11) I'm very protective of my property and will claim territory easily. This means I always know what's mine and I take care of it, but people see it as not 'sharing'.
12) I'm a little bit stuck in my ways (like my daily habits). I freak out a little bit when someone messes up my flow.
13) I'm a frugal shopper! It's obnoxious sometimes because I like pretty/luxury things, but good because I can value a dollar.
14) I'm not a very humble person. I know my strengths and pride myself on them.
15) I have cellulite and battle acne all the time. On the upside, it reminds me I'm not perfect :)
16) I'm forgiving and until you break my trust, I will trust you. This puts me in a risk zone most the time, because people can take advantage of me. But I also know it's a good thing to forgive people.

Just Not Good (and need to work on):
1) I'm extremely defensive. If I feel attacked or accused of something, I put up a guard and will fire back with the first thing I can in order to get the spot light off me.
2) Furthermore, I will lie in order to avoid a fight/argument. Whether it's me not speaking my mind to avoid a fight or me lying to direct questions to avoid a fight, I lie. I obviously know it's wrong, but it's conflicting because the ONE thing I passionately hate in life is fighting/arguing. I've improved this dramatically in the last year, but still working on it...
3) In addition to the above, when it comes to an argument that I don't want to continue or feel like I've been hurt or whatever, I will give the other person the silent treatment. It's fierce and really puts a person on edge. I do this for 3 reasons (I don't know if I'm justifying my actions here or what)... One; because I want to end the argument. Two; because I want to make sure I don't say something I don't mean. Three; because I want both parties to calm the F down in order to come back together and talk like normal people.
4) When I truly care about a person, I am sensitive and my feelings can be crushed in a simple sentence if the words aren't nice. I'd love to grow tougher skin, but it's hard because I care so much about what they think.
5) I AM SO FORGETFUL! Honestly, I just want to have normal people brain capacity! Lol
6) I curse a lot. With work in the last year and a half, I have certainly improved this, but I know I could do better.
7) My patience with people who don't have common sense is immensely small. It's like a switch they flip inside me that turns me into a raging, impatient bitch.
8) 9 times out of 10 I'm late getting somewhere. It's not like I don't have a watch... so wtf?
9) I'm selfish in the manner that I only want to surround myself with positive and fun people. I will ignore even my family if they aren't being pleasant company :/
10)  I don't have a good sense of seniority. I usually see myself as an equal before I will see myself as 'under class'. In my mind, we're all people. But in 'society' it's different and it makes working in the corporate world quite difficult.


I'm sure my flaws are much more extensive than this list is. However, I feel accomplished in knowing I was able to admit this in text.
As humans, we can only experience life one day at a time and learn from each and every lesson that gets thrown our way. The hardest part, of course, is learning the lesson.

Live.Love.Learn.Laugh.

BRITT~