Evaluating the statement "Women want Everything" from my first blog, it seems there is a huge misunderstanding of what it actually means.
When that statement comes out of a females mouth, a male AUTOMATICALLY hears "Woman want money".
This couldn't be more false!!!
So I've taken the last week or so to really think about what it IS that women want.
*** Reminder! This is what women want in a relationship! ***
The best analogy I have is when I go out with one my girl friends to a restaurant.
When the waiter asks us what we are going to have for dessert, we say all the desserts that sound really good and the waiter replies "Which one do you want?" (expecting us to share). And at that moment, we look at each other, laugh and say ALL OF THEM!
So... what I'm saying is that women don't want just one dessert anymore. We want whichever is going to make us HAPPY, even if that means multiple and extra calories we have to work off at the gym the next day.
Guys need to realize that women want a man who has it ALL.
To give some examples...
We want a man who is:
- Goofy and silly and has fun, but who can also be serious and care about shit
- Genuinely happy living his life and being who he is, but isn't so caught up in himself he can't see a wonderful girl standing right in front of him
- Wild and fun and takes risks, but also knows when to draw the line of safety
- Healthy and values his body because he wants to live a lifetime with his girl, but also knows how to eat dessert and drink a beer or two on the weekends
- Dirty and messy and 'manly' in his hobbies, but also knows when to be clean (like when he wants to spend time with his girl) ha ha ha
- Friendly and can meet anyone or go anywhere and have a good time, but also doesn't have to be center of attention or makes his girl worry about all the other girls at that 'good time'
- Smart and can teach us new things, but doesn't make us feel stupid for not knowing or get mad when we mess it up (we aren't perfect and on that note: anyone who thinks perfection exists is an idiot)
- Brave and will protect us and stand up for us, but isn't a bully or a jealous asshole who has to beat up every guy who hits on his girl
- Not afraid of talking and communicating what's on his mind, but also allows his girl to give her opinion on the subject and consider the advice she may give (sometime we do have good advice and all we ever want to do is HELP if we are able to).... also, no crying please (it's not manly unless someone has died)
- Not addicted to things (gambling, drugs, alcohol, video games, sex, porn, smoking) - sorry, there's no exception to this one... (maybe if a girl is a smoker, then smoking would be okay)
- Financially secure and knows the value of a dollar, but also knows when to spend money and have some fun :)
- Active and creative (like hiking, going to the lake, or simply home improvements), AND likes to involve his girl in those activities when it's not a designated "guys day"
- Thoughtful enough to make or buy cards and/or gifts to recognize a holiday or special occasion, AND knows that it's not about the amount of money spent... In fact, cards and presents don't matter as long as the guy DID something to celebrate that didn't have any benefit to him (sex always benefits a guy, so that will never be an acceptable 'gift' (I don't care how many candles are lit or rose petals are on the floor)
- Nice, but not too nice (this one is tough to accept, but it's true for at least the first year of dating)
- Considerate of the words that come out of his mouth, but also can be himself and express opinions
Really what this all comes down to is balance.
Men don't like the idea of change very often, but in order to have balance, a person has to constantly analyze what's going on around them and be willing to bend, redirect and change.
Life is tough. And love is a mother fucker.
If you're a guy reading this thinking "Well this is just a list of what Britt wants in a man. There are a million other girls out there with a million other opinions", then you're an idiot.
I'm going to be frank right here - any girl who DOESN'T look for these qualities in a relationship has something wrong with her. She's got daddy issues, drug issues, personality issues, financial issues... you name it, I guarantee she has something wrong with her, affecting her judgement in a man.
I'M NOT PERFECT!!!! (Trust me, I know this better than anyone)
The biggest thing I do differently from other girls is that I LEARN from my past and I actively CHOOSE happiness above all else.
My Questions:
1) Are you able to just sit with yourself and be happy with who you are and the life you're living?
2) Why are so many people in this world miserable? Happiness is a state of mind, not the circumstances...
3) What do you believe love is?
4) IF divorce didn't exist, would you ever get married in today's world?
Live.Love.Learn.Laugh.
BRITT~
It's nice to know that some women are looking fr men with my qualities! Ok, some of my qualities. I am enjoying this blog tho!
ReplyDeleteFOR. I have to get used to this laptop.
ReplyDeleteWell stated.
ReplyDeleteWhether you are a man or woman each situation you are in changes the dynamics. A relationship is a team in which you work, grow, love and fight for and should never be willing to give up.
Each one of us grows and changes as we get older, the same with a relationship you don't just love that person but you cherish them "flaws" and all. Always grow and always learn and don't ever just stop caring.
Great job Britt... That was awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm doomed....Nice work! Point made concisely
ReplyDeleteRobert Lamar
1. I am happy with who I am and strive to better myself everyday. As long as im not veering off path of my goals, I am happy. Its important to accept who you are and be kind to yourself in order to grow, learn, love...
ReplyDelete2. Miserable people are exactly that, miserable. No circumstances, good or bad will change that. State of mind indeed.
3. Love is a verb, meaning action. An action driven by an emotional feeling for something.
4. Marriage is a grey area for me. It has been around forever and has mostly been for some sort of gain. Yes, it is great if two people love each other and get married, but this hasnt always been the case. People have wed to expand familys, and to expand kingdoms. Etc. Etc. Also, We are genetically programmed to be promiscuous. Given divorce rates and general unfaithfulness in relationships, this is easily understood. So why get married nowadays? for financial reasons? Expansion of family? Assets? Share a life? grrr.... :)
Best,
RObert Lamar
in regards to
ReplyDelete#4 & #1 on this list by Mr.Lamar
1.Marriage is a covenant made between a man and a woman, the church body and God. A marriage is a representation of Christ and his love for the church. Yes in a marriage there is federal headship but this does not diminish equality between a husband and wife. A marriage is provided by God so that we may be able to help each other out and grow and edify one another. In prior times arranged marriages were made and in a sense I can see the benefits in that, just in one sense there was always protection of each parties purity. In those times adultery was punishable by death, you will say that oh we are in a different culture. Just because then it was a different culture who are we to shy away from the authority of scripture. A God fearing man is a true man, a man who is slave to his sin is a boy that can shave. The generation currently living right now is almost unfortunately as it is for me to say this 100% full of boys that can shave, a change must be made. I include myself in this.
2.Love at least in the romantic sense never lasts, Love is just as you said an action it comes and goes, it ebs and flows. None of us in this fallen world can have the true love that Christ had for his church, this love is only reserved for God it is in the greek the Agape love.
3. In regards to growth and striving to better oneself I would ask the question. What drives this motivation? Are you doing it for personal gain? For a glory of self? Or is it so you can exemplify and lead a Godly life that God calls men to do?
I do not know where you stand in your belief with scripture or if there is belief there but I challenge you, if you think scripture has any authority or even is just a good book. Take a look at passages like Ephesians 1 (these are the spiritual blessing bestowed upon us(this is the Gospel)) for what a Godly relationship looks like Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, Titus 2 & 1 Corinthians 7. These are just some places to go and ponder your thoughts as you read.
Good reading
First of all, who are you? ^
ReplyDeleteIf you are a disciple of god, you shall have no shame in speaking the word.
Id like to think my knowledge of the subject at hand is unbiased in its written form. At no point did I have an alterior motive of any kind in my response to the bloggers questions. Id apprieciate the same to continue further. Also, I do respect your opinion on marriage however; not everyone believes in the scripture, God or the church. This needs to be a factor, even if you are a disciple of god.
I strive to better myself because it is better than not. Why do I care whats better? because It is my duty as a human being to better mankind and for the survival of our species. Who am I to take away a better life from the next generation?
Best,
Robert Lamar
Also, it is considered rude in most cases to bring up religion and politics. just an FYI
ReplyDeleteBest,
Robert Lamar
I appreciate the response Robert. I am not here to undermine or downcast anyone just to challenge thoughts, so please do not take this as an attack.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the question of who am I, I am a Biblicist I am Christian in a general broad term and I do not have shame in speaking the Word which is what I have been doing. And yeah I am a male. Marriage is an area I am very fond of and I take a specific interest in this subject.
In accordance to your knowledge, is that indeed biased by the fact that this is “your” viewpoint?
As for saying a disciple of “god” there are too many supposed viewpoints on “god” to say that a disciple is the correct term. In this day and age the Gospels have been contorted and twisted by man. The church in this day and age is sick at best, Christianity is consuming itself and filled with money grabbing blasphemers. Yes I am a follower of Christ the Son of the one true God.
I agree in the fact that not everyone believes in scripture but I believe scripture points us to what marriage should look like and show us what it involves and what it is about. The very origin of marriage comes from scripture at creation in Genesis with the joining of Adam and Eve. Marriage gets brought up in more detail in the passages I listed above in response to your comment. If you condemn marriage you condemn scripture. This would make you an atheist and the only thing you can believe in is a civil union of some sort.
In what sense did I bring up politics with religion? This whole thing was relating to marriage that is not made by government or politics, God created this union.
Since I now know what you believe in a sense in regards to bettering yourself. I would like to ask two questions. Where does your view for wanting to better yourself/mankind come from? If bettering yourself is what you sincerely want to do, what is wrong with reading scripture in regards to marriage?
In regards to the bloggers questions, which are the following, here is my response.
1) Are you able to just sit with yourself and be happy with who you are and the life you're living?
This sitting around is a thing of laziness. We are called to be active and are accountable for our actions (acts 2:23 gives a good example of this). Happiness is man centered it is a temporal thing; Joy on the other hand is a lifetime blessing. I feel happiness and being content are one in the same in some aspects and there is no worldy way to be content
2) Why are so many people in this world miserable? Happiness is a state of mind, not the circumstances...
So many people in this world are miserable for many reasons. Happiness is a state of mind and heart in a temporary instance. The only way true happiness that will become joy can be achieved is through God’s sovereignty. Joy and happiness are two different things we must remember this joy. The state of happiness is a comfort in something that is man centered
3) What do you believe love is?
There are many forms of love. I go back to the greek forms but in a broad sense I would like to say Agape love is the one we as humans try to exemplify. We will fail miserably at this because of our sinful state but we can still show that we care and try to be love and exemplify what Christ taught in John 15:12-13. Love is something we are to show to everyone and being nice isn’t always a form of love, truth is the only real form of love. As Luther once said “peace if possible, truth at all cost.”
4) If divorce didn't exist, would you ever get married in today's world?
If divorce didn’t exist I would be more inclined to do it. I feel like divorce is too easy of a way out for most marriages and it is sad to see it used that way. The city of las vegas by itself has a huge divorce rate and makes divorce too easy. Divorce is scripture oriented also (Matthew 5:31-32)
Im sorry I do take this as an attack. Your forcing your religious ideology onto me and everyone that reads this blog. This is exactly what causes wars
ReplyDeleteBest,
Robert Lamar
Robert,
ReplyDeleteI apologize that this makes you feel that way but I am not forcing nothing upon you. If I was forcing you, you would have a gun to your head. I am just making a suggestion, a sensitivity to discussion leads to wars and an inability to discuss without rage or pride leads to disaster.
Best of luck
To my Anonymous Bible Enthusiast (for lack of a different name):
ReplyDeleteI would like to say thank you for your comments. I personally do have faith in God and I feel my relationship with Him is an important factor in my life and the choices I make (especially with a potential partner).
I feel you answered the questions very well and they reflect the person you are. I will definitely encourage you to not be ashamed in giving a first name when you make your comments on other blogs.
In response to your earlier answers:
I think the love that Christ gave to the church was unconditional. In that manner, I do feel people can strive for that. Even if they don't succeed, I feel it's important to try your best at unconditionally loving someone. With this in mind, I think Robert was right about wanting to be better for mankind. I believe in Karma. I have seen it. I have experienced it. And I know that what you put out there is remembered in some form by someone. I think life is too short not to LOVE unconditionally. HOWEVER, I also believe in romantic love. I believe romance can make people happy. And happiness is a state of mind. Therefore, if two people 'in love' want to make each other happy, romance will be a huge factor.
Also, allow me to remind you.... Everyone has opinions. :) If you would like to challenge ideas, that's fine by me (encouraged actually!). But you may want to consider how you phrase your questions. Be a little more open to the FACT that not everyone thinks like you do (and not everyone thinks like I do either).
In response to your most recent answers (to the direct blog questions):
1) Sitting in a room with yourself has nothing to do with laziness. It's a challenging thing in today's world because people constantly have something going on (no lazy). Me, for example, I have music on ALL THE TIME at my house, in my car, at work, at the gym, etc... Music is my passion. However, to sit in silence and breathe, just breathe with nothing going on. Truly clear your head... that is challenging for a lot of people! Happiness and Joy in MY opinion are one in the same. I consider both to be a great blessing :)
2) Happiness CAN be found in other ways than God's sovereignty. I know this for a fact because I have done it. Now... let me be clear! Did finding my faith in God help find my happiness? Hell yes it did! In fact, that's where I started. And one thing after another, I continued to work hard at finding peace within myself and happiness with my life. I have done A LOT of things for happiness (this will be explained in my next blog btw)...
3) You didn't really answer this question at all. What is it that YOU believe in? Have you ever found true love? Do you believe in it at all?
4) I like your answer on the divorce question :)
Robert, I honestly had to read what our Anonymous Bible Enthusiast had written multiple times to try to get an understanding at what the goal was (hence why it took me DAYS to reply back). I had to strip out the Bible quotes and open my mind to another person's way of thinking. I took what he said quite offensively at first read... but read it again and again and realized there was just another person with a different view point. I do not think it was an 'attack'... just my perspective. Of course, I will always appreciate your ideas and feedback because you are very intelligent, kind, and thoughtful. :D
BRITT~